I love words. Anyone who knows me can testify to this. Words are in my blood. They inhabit my brain like a bunch of rowdy squatters inhabiting an old, beaten down building - until they get kicked out because the building is being renovated for another purpose, or it's just getting torn down. I've always loved to read; books are like food to my knowledge-hungry brain. And of course they are composed of those most beautiful notes; words! And for as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be a writer. When I was in therapy I would get told off for using too many words. I would get so caught up in the jumble of words that run and collide within my brain, and on their way out of my mouth, that I never quite got to the point. I've often been told that I am very 'eloquent' when it comes to my verbal communications. The same could be said of my written communications also. I have often been praised for my extensive vocabulary.
I am also often praised for my ability to recall and recite passages of other people's work; I have the great skill of being able to quote others. Given the amount I read and my ardent love of words, it's not really surprising that, when I come across an apt phrase - a string of words so connected in a way as to induce some kind of epiphany or even an immediate love affair - I have to store it away in the palace of my mind for future reference. And then, when my brain deems the timing to be appropriate - and often when it isn't appropriate - it will throw out one, or several, of these pithy quotations to sum up my feelings or opinions on the matter. However, as I cannot actually claim the words as my own - that would be called plagiarism, and is frowned upon within decent society - can I really claim them as expressing my own opinion? To quote (behold the irony) Oscar Wilde, "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." Everyone's thoughts and beliefs and opinions are influenced by others. That's life. Psychologists have spent decades arguing the 'nature/nurture' debate - only for most of them to take the diplomatic route of suggesting that both play a part in how people's identities are formed and developed. The 'nurture' side of the debate tells us that all of our thoughts and beliefs and even our actions are influenced by our environments as we grow up and develop. With this in mind, can anyone claim to have completely independent thoughts? Or are, as the good Mr Wilde so aptly put it - and why not use his words instead of my own, since my own are just someone else's anyway - our thoughts simply 'someone else's opinions'?
To continue on this path of quoting others rather than attempting to produce something approaching that ideal - 'independent thought' - Mr Wilde also says, of quotations, "Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit." Perhaps it is not that we are incapable of independent thought but rather that we believe other people's thoughts or opinions to be more intelligent or witty than anything we might come up with ourselves and so, instead of saying something unique but potentially incredibly stupid, we quote others in order to make ourselves appear more intelligent than we actually are. I am praised for my ability to recall quotations because it is believed to be a sign of one who is well read. Well, I stated that I love to read, and I do read a great deal, but that doesn't necessarily constitute my being 'well read'. Yes, I enjoy reading classic literature and I can quote the likes of Mr Wilde to make myself sound intelligent and distinguished and well read, but I am no more distinguished than any other person who can read something and remember it in order to use it later on in conversation. And as for being well read, I enjoy reading - often badly written - vampire fiction, which in the minds of most people hardly constitutes being 'well read'. In the minds of many, I'm little better than any pre-pubescent teenage girl who's read the 'Twilight Saga'. It's hardly cutting edge literature.
Oscar Wilde is one of the most quoted people in the world, which takes the irony of the quotes I have taken from him for this post to a whole new level, in my mind. I've actually heard people quote the second quote - "Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit" - in conversation, to belittle others who have quoted someone in the same conversation. It's almost laughable; the idiocy of some people.
I would like to think that it is, perhaps even only occasionally, possible for one to produce an independent thought. Whether it's unique is besides the point. Nothing these days is unique. Everything has been thought, said or done before by someone, somewhere. But thought that is independent in the sense that it is the actual belief of the person who comes out with it and not just them spouting the beliefs of someone else that they happened to hear somewhere. It would be nice to think that it were possible. Though, I suppose, independent thought, in the true sense of the term, as being thought that is wholly unaffected by external influences isn't really possible, because even if it's not quoted or approximated from anyone or anything else, it will still have been influenced by some aspect of one's experiences. I guess what I'm really saying is that I like to believe that genuine thought is possible, even if it is neither independent or unique.
As for unique thought. I said, in the paragraph above, that nothing is unique. It really isn't. There's a kind of joke that science-fiction only ever has seven basic story lines. Sure they might be portrayed in countless different ways, but the basic plot always seems to be the same. I figure that the same could actually be said for a lot of genres, if not for literature in general (though that may be stretching it a little far). Scholars believe that even Shakespeare, the great wordsmith, took the plots for many, if not all, of his plays from other works by other people. Many are disappointed to think that Shakespeare, of all people, might have been, to some extent, a fraud. But if no one is capable of producing completely unique and independent ideas, is it really fraudulent? Many writers are also readers. They get ideas and inspiration from what they read. I find myself reading some amazing works of literature and wishing and praying that I could write as well as that particular author. Or that I could have written something as amazing as what is on the page before me. I get ideas and inspiration from so many places. But I hardly ever actually write them. I have this ideal in my head, of writing something completely unique and wonderful and it being completely loved and adored by all who read it. Of course the latter half of that dream is impossible because literature is personal and people have different tastes. Not everyone is going to love the same thing. And so not everyone will love what I write. And I'm beginning to realise that, perhaps, the first part of that ideal is also completely unrealistic, because my thoughts and ideas are influenced by what I read and by the things I experience, and nothing is unique, so how can I expect myself to write something completely unique?
The inspiration for this post came from a song by Damien Rice called 'Delicate'. There's a line in the song that says, "Why d'you fill my sorrow with the words you've borrowed from the only place you've known?" I don't know what Damien Rice's intended meaning for this lyric was, but to me, within the context of the rest of the song, it speaks of a lover being unable to express their feelings in their own words; only expressing their emotions and their love through the words of others. I figure most people find it rather romantic to have things quoted to them - depending on the content of the quote obviously. And, being a massive fan of quotations, as I think I have demonstrated, I used to hold the same opinion. But now, understanding the fragility and rarity of genuine personal thoughts and opinions, I would find it more romantic if someone were to tell me how they feel in their own words, even if those words lacked the appearance of elegance or flowery vocabulary. It is a sorrowful thing indeed if someone can't find their own way of telling you that they love you.
No comments:
Post a Comment